As I sit here enjoying a raw chocolate ganache "cake" my sister and I made last night, I am thinking about time and the speed at which things occur. For the past month, I've put more effort than in past months into my diet and exercise (cake notwithstanding)and my commitment is slowly but surely paying off.
Growing up I never saw much merit in exercise; it was a great idea and something I knew I needed more of, but it seemed to my limited experience, that what little exercise I did had little of an effect on my body. Like so many people, I wanted results NOW! My early morning sessions with Billy Blanks were fun but I didn't see any meaningful change in my body. So eventually I quit.
Fast forward to now and I realize that (in addition to diet and exercise going hand in hand) I need to change my thinking. Instead of thinking in broad brush strokes "why am I not a size smaller yet?" I need to think in terms of small celebrations of success. Yes, my boyfriend is getting fit at a faster rate then I am and yes, I wimped out this weekend and super processed carbs, but this morning while doing my weights, I saw the curve of a tricep I didn't know I had. And yesterday while shoveling, I noticed it didn't exert me nearly as much as it used to. All the small changes I am making in my life will eventually manifest in one big, observable change, just as tiny grains of sand falling through an hourglass add up.
And this applies to all aspects of my life, not just my body. I am finding that doing my graduate work in little chunks eases the pressure of doing it all at once. More and more I am overwhelmed by my "to do" lists. At the outset of this school break I had pie-the-sky ambition. "I will get all this work done at once and then I won't have any left for the rest of the week," thought I. However, this only lead to frustration and thoughts of "I don't want to do this right now." Instead, I did whatever came easiest first; instead of writing final drafts, I wrote down whatever came to mind for my writing assignments. Then I played. Today I came back and edited that work I started. The process is a lot less stressful when taken in small doses. I feel accomplished without feeling strained and more importantly I feel like I've gotten to take advantage of my free time and do things that satisfy my "bliss".
